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Saturday, April 2nd, 2005
11:59 am - uhhhh
i don't think i'm going to be drinking for a while. i don't remember a lot of last night. sara picked me up and we went to kevin's for a little bit and after that we went to brian's and started drinking. i think i puked on his floor. i can't even function right now i feel so sick. i need a break.

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Sunday, March 20th, 2005
3:24 pm - mhmm
yesterday was pretty fun. we drank at jess'. at first everyone came over and then left because maria was pissed. then me and jennie started drinking or whatever and ended up meeting up with steph. me, jennie, steph, and sara met freddy, jenny, mike, and chan at the gas station. fucking jennie started talking to this stripper and ended up making out with him. we went back to jess' or whatever. that kid mike was like passed out so me and steph took this walrus stamp and we put stamps all over him. it was so funny. i dropped my camera like 6 times and broke it. i thought i lost the batteries, so i went outside this morning to look for them and found one of my broken flip flops in the middle of the road.

what a night.

current mood: okay

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Wednesday, March 16th, 2005
9:54 pm
"Don't look at me like that bitch.. I'll bite your fucking earlobes off."

i love theresa

current mood: depressed

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Saturday, March 12th, 2005
4:33 pm - Oh Man

current mood: ecstatic

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Monday, March 7th, 2005
2:36 pm - right right right right right
I'm really hungry.

my weekend was alright.. I called out of work Thursday to go shopping and I bought this Abercrombie hoodie. On Friday I worked from 5:45 - 1:45. and they still weren't even done yet. Jake told me they got out at 3:15.. which is insane.

I went home and got to bed at like 3:30 and then got up at 5:30 and went on the road with Jess. It was awesome of course. I was telling all the recievers all kinds of stories. I told one lady that I had a steel rod put in my leg the week before and then told another I had been struck by lightening the day before. At one of the stops Jess was telling the story about how she had been sick the day before and some guy asked if she had been drinking. she said no, but i said, "don't believe her! she drank the worm!" and then someone else said something about her being pregnant. and she said "don't jinx me!" and as we were walking away I said "Jess... you can't get pregnant from a dildo!"

At one point were in front of a deli and she said "Hey, look! It's Miss Lippy!" and it really looked like her. I pushed her over and started laughing hyserically. Then she pushed me and we fell over just laughing for a long time with crates sprawled out everywhere around us and people at the deli staring. it was great. i love my sister.

well, that night me and sara hung out and stuff. craig came over and we were all a little depressed, but we ended up eating at papa gino's which was cool. we stopped at starbucks and then went home. when jess came home we just layed around laughing and having silly fun.

on sunday me and jess ate out at papa's, then i had to go to work. we didn't do anything for like an hour or so. i was so lazy and didn't do that many orders. i just felt wicked crappy. dave started getting pissy and was saying he was going to beat up jake or get someone to do it for him. he's so dumb. i left at 10:30.

current mood: blah

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Saturday, March 5th, 2005
11:06 am - no good very bad day
my mother is getting married in an hour. i know i'm going to end up crying or getting sick. i feel like if her husband to be touches me at all... even to shake my hand or hug me, i will fucking snap his neck.

current mood: pissed off

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Wednesday, March 2nd, 2005
5:29 pm - hmph
yeah.. so jess is almost definately moving to california with micah. i'm completely heartbroken. i'd love to go live with her, but i'd never have enough money. and it would be weird because i would be like a third wheel. i might move into her apartment when she leaves though. $350 a month is dirt cheap. i want to try to find someone who will move in with me so i'm asking around and such... not many people are sticking around though. i talked to kayla today and she told me that if i had thought of this all sooner she wouldn't have moved and then we could've lived here together. uuugh. i was pretty sad when i heard that.

i think i'm going to the spring fling.. i hope it doesn't get canceled. i talked to john about it today in the library and at lunch. he seemed pretty stressed. it was so fun to talk to him again, though because i hardly ever get to.

anyway.. i'm pretty pissed. of course i feel like the biggest idiot ever for letting teddy borrow that twenty dollars. i was supposed to get it back today and i didn't. he told me he'd call me and never did. last night i finally fell asleep and he called me.. and apologized for everything. he said he rushed into things and thought he could get me back and all this stuff. and that's why he was a jerk and called me a slut? who knows.. but we aren't talking anymore. for good this time. i'm pretty happy about that. i'm so sick of him being a dick to me.

so the news of the day is i like a boy and i can't even talk to him because i am too much of a girl.
what the helllll.

current mood: depressed

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Sunday, February 27th, 2005
3:43 pm - Fresh Sunday
I'm at ielle's, bored as hell. Dad got the money yesterday, thank god. I was sick of having to buy groceries and such. I have to work tonight, that should be fun.. Last night was okay, but i was really tired. there were a bunch of new people working. somehow jake got a job. after my second or third order i dropped a bottle of prune juice and it spilled all over the first aisle. krissandra and i had fun cleaning it up. haha, we almost puked. i have next saturday off for the my mom's wedding and the spring fling. i'm not even sure if i want to go now... who knows.

current mood: cynical

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Saturday, February 26th, 2005
3:54 pm - ho hum
hmm... vacation is blah. i got grounded because the hotel party that me and kayla threw got busted by the cops. i don't think i'm grounded next week though. that night was scary though. my dad didn't talk to me the whole way home and my sister asked him what he thought the next day. his reply: "if i had said anything to her i probably would have ended up hitting her." ha.

i haven't been grounded in so long.. and it sucks so much. i have too much time on my hands to think about everything.. like graduation and jess moving to cali.. if i'm going to go with her.. massage therapy school.. ugh, i hate it. and all jess talks about is micah. god, the two of them.. they're sp cute. it just about breaks my heart.
i don't know. i feel like i've given up on guys again. right now i really want a boyfriend, but.. how am i going to find someone who is nice and will actually treat me right? i just want to find someone like me and..cute and funny.. oh i don't even know.

current mood: lonely

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Monday, February 7th, 2005
4:01 pm - cha cha cha
today was alright. we have advisories now and i think it is a pile of bullshit, but whatever. they gave them to us in first block. i didn't do much in second because no classes came to the library, so i walked around with andrew from mark steven's. he's funny as hell. for third i had to take 7 quizzes and a test. i didn't even get to finish the test and i couldn't make it up even though i was absent two days last week. mrs. shaw is lame. we played the review game in fourth.. which was alright.

after school today i saw this old man on elm street wearing a vest with planets on it. so i told jess to turn around and i got out with my camera and asked him for his picture for a school project. he was so awesome. he told about his wife and son. and how he liked italian food and kfc. he's 78 and still healthy! first name was al and i think he said his last name was sherbert. not too sure. but he was the sweetest old guy ever.

anywho.. i'm bored. i've got nothing to do. i'm going to try and hang out with kayla later. we're supposed to go to the movies with justin and alex tomorrow. i think we're going to see hide and seek. hope it's good. i'm done for now.

over and out.

current mood: complacent

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Saturday, February 5th, 2005
2:51 pm - ;lkjasdffdjkasl;
At Jess'. Hung out with her and Jerry for a while. We went to papa gino's, colored, and ate. Then we came back here and hung out with Ielle, Jen, and Theresa. I talked to Kayla Giguiere and I want to punch her in the face. The other day I had an away message on about my will and she said, "hahaha! you're going to die!" or something lame like that. So she started calling me stuck up and saying all this stupid shit. I told her she was an annoying attention whore that nobody liked. After all that, in the end she started apologizing to me and being all friendly. I. Don't. Get. Her.

Anyway.. I have to work until 11 tonight.. i'll probably end up staying later, which means another uneventful weekend. oh well. i need the money. i worked thursday and yesterday and i'm working tonight, tomorrow, and monday. i'm not used to this whole work thing. My managers suck too. The only one I liked from the beginning and haven't heard bad things about is Arnie. I thought Joe was really nice too because he's young and funny, but apparently he's a two faced dickhead. my friend's mom was rushed to the hospital and left work early.. and joe yelled at him for it. gay. Yesterday as I was coming in, two people quit, so we're probably going to be hiring a couple more people.

"All peapod shoppers back to peapod land.. all peas back to the pod."

current mood: contemplative

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Friday, February 4th, 2005
12:16 am - y0
eh.. just got in a little while ago. i didn't go to school today. i woke up and my neck hurt really bad and as soon as i got out of bed my head started pounding and i thought i was going to throw up. so i told my dad i wasn't going and i slept until i had to go to work at like 3. i got out at 8:30 and kayla picked me up. we met justin, alex, and doug at the bowling alley and got our lane. it was fun. doug only played one game though. doug and alex both left at like 11:15 and kayla, justin, and i played one more game. we both took a few pictures.. they should come out alright. it was fun though. justin kept dancing the whole night and alex was being kinda perverted. doug was the only one who didn't say much. i guess he didn't feel well.

im so sad about kayla leaving! im going to do something really nice before she leaves or something. its so sad. i could see if she was staying close by, but it's flippin new mexico! who even lives there??

current mood: chipper

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Saturday, January 22nd, 2005
12:57 am - heck yes
Hmm... my week was pretty good. Kind of stressful due to portfolios and whatnot, but oh well. Thursday was wicked cool. After exams I met Krissandra, Kayla, Alex, and Justin outside. We had a snow ball fight and Jerm got me right in the ear. I wanted to kick his ass. After that we all left and were supposed to eat at ho kong, but sokheng wanted to go to the buffet. so we went there and it was really fucking gross. I felt so sick afterwards. when we were done eating kheng and his crew departed and the five of us went to the pool hall, but it was closed, so we went to walmart instead. we walked around the toy isles and ended up getting silly string. we had a fight in the parking lot and then at the gas station. it was all over kayla's car. and i got the liquid stuff in justin's eye and alex's hair was covered in it. it was pretty funny.

we ended up all going home. i slept because the food had made me sick. at 6:30 kayla picked me up again and met maranda, sara, john, and chris parks at papa ginos. we hung out for a while and whatnot and then left. we raced to mark stevens. we went in to the back and there was tons of halloween stuff on sale. it was so great. so i bought tons of decorations, cups, plates, fake blood, makeup, etc etc etc. and we decided we are going to have a halloween party soon. i got like 60 items and it only cost me 26 bucks. we were about to leave when justin and alex showed up. maranda and sara left and the four of us went to kaybee and walked around for a bit. it pretty much sucked so we left. we met krissandra at the bowling alley at 9 and waited around for our lane.

it was wicked fun. justin won like every game though. i'm really bad at it, but that's what makes it so fun. chris parks really didn't talk the whole time and it pissed me off so much. i really didn't want him to come, but in papa gino's sara invited him to go with us even though she wasn't going to be there. she said she felt bad afterward.. i was so mad. he aggrivates me so much because he never says ANYTHING. it kind of bugged everyone.

anyway at one point some lady went around and had us fill out these things for a raffle. and a while later i heard "Sarah Thurber from woonsocket, come to the front desk." i actually won. three free games. haha. it was great. at the end we started changing each others names on the bowling thingy. i changed justin's to sucksdick4coke and chris' to i lick gooch. justin changed mine to rug muncher and then kayla changed it to wanna felch. krissandra's was kunte kinte and alex's was snack pack. then justin put i hate gooks as kayla's name to piss off the asians on the side of us. it was funny.

i got home at like 12:30. thursday is supposed to be the night we all hang out now. minus chris of course. i love them all. kayla's moving soon though, which totally blows. i'm wicked going to miss her :(

yeah.. friday was alright. i was so tired in school though. afterwards me and sara went to the mall with jess and donna. it was kind of boring. we were there for like four hours. it was nuts. then afterwards we were all supposed to hang out but jess went on the computer and talked on the phone with micah. so me and sara went to the a couple stores and when we were about to come home she said she was going out with jen. so we came back here and watched a movie with maranda and this kid andrew who works at mark stevens. he's weird but kind of funny.

but i've run out of things to say. except that when we grow up me and craig are going to live in a castle in europe. jealous?

current mood: sleepy

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Tuesday, January 18th, 2005
5:37 pm - ugh
i have so much work to do i don't even know where to start.

current mood: nervous

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Sunday, January 16th, 2005
1:35 pm - calhoun
Yeah.. I'm at Danielle's just hanging out. I have to effing dog sit. Things have been alright lately. working at peapod isn't bad. i usually work late though. which sucks. when we aren't having people over at jess' i have nothing to do because who is going to wait around until 11 or 12 to hang out. one night i didn't get out until 2am and then yesterday i got out at 1230. i pretty much don't have a weekend anymore..
school's going alright i guess. it was actually fun last week because we didn't really do much. in first block we have this portfolio due and i have hardly started. one day we all had to put lipstick on. the guys looked so funny. it was great. jake kissed me on the cheek and i had nasty pink lipstick all over me. ryan looked pretty hilarious. we also had to dust for fingerprints, which was kind of stupid. second block(health) is so boring. and between first and second i literally have tons of bruises from jake. that kind is abusive. third block just about kills me. when you're a library aid you start running out of things to do. so last week i got into the book drop and as a class was walking in i tried to scare some of the kids. this one guy went to go put return his book and i tried to grab it out of his hand. he got all freaked out. it was funny. me and tiffany were cracking up.
fourth block has been normal as hell. just glazing our stuff and having fun. mcneil loves us, she just can't admit it. next week we have exams... which sucks. but we have half days, so that's good. on thurday a bunch of us are supposed to go out to ho kong. if i have money..

on a sadder note i feel like i'm not going to see jess anymore. she has been hanging out with jen and micah constantly. and why am i going to hang out with them when they are with micah and lhammone.. the two guys they like? so i can feel like a fifth wheel? she's with micah all the time.. and i know she really likes him, but if she ever starts to ditch us for him that is the end. i will be bullshit.

current mood: bored

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Sunday, January 2nd, 2005
11:29 pm - "Obsolete"
Every day seems the same to me
I sit around and think about how alone I feel
then I wind up rather enjoying loneliness because it's the comfort of being sad-
sometimes it feels so right
and sometimes I'd like to be around no one for ten straight years
but I know this feeling can't bring me places
and I know I'm losing lots of ground
but to keep up means to get up and why does it have to be
the world keeps on changing while I just stay the same?
I feel like being down doesn't mean enough to anyone anymore
and I guess the world has made emotion obsolete
and I don't think I feel the same 'cause after all
who says what happy really means?
Tonight I will redefine everything and tomorrow I will start in on my better days
and so each their own definition of happiness
but no one ever reaches it so I don't think I'll breathe that way
but happiness is when there's nowhere left to go
because in that state of mind there is no state of self
so how was I supposed to know?

current mood: depressed

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Monday, December 27th, 2004
10:11 am - pissah
my christmas was pretty cool.. on friday we went to danielle's house to open gifts and whatnot. i gave sara her abercrombie sweatpants and she loved them.. and ielle said she liked the bob marley stuff i got her too. danielle got me a heated stone spa and a book on how to massage.. so i can further my knowledge before i go to school for it. she aslo got both jess and i a napoleon dynamite t-shirt and this "grab bag" that came with napoleon's head on a stick, a bunch of stickers, and a chapstick. pretty sweet.
jess got me a bunch of silly stuff in a stocking. like a fake bird, a pair of goggles, candy, etc. she also got me gift certificates to papa gino's and a pair of pearl earrings. i was wicked excited, let me tell you.. i almost shat myself. dad like the things that we picked out for him, which was good. ivy supposedly like the etch a sketch i bought, but when she opened it she looked as if she had just gotten a math book and didn't even thank us.
jim ended up making us his taco dip and we ate until jen got there. she opened her gifts and then we went back to jess' place. we cleaned and whatnot, but then maranda showed up. she laughed really hard when she opened the life-size cutout of smeagol. it was great. i know she loved the corky romano dvd.. she got sara a really nice sweater from american eagle and a couple other little things. she got me peppermint peckers and a stewie mind earaser drink, haha.

christmas morning sara and i went to the airport to pick up tiffany. i hadn't seen her in a goddamn year. we went back to jess' and hung out for a bit.. then they had to go to sara's. so jess and i cleaned, did laundry, went back to dad's and napped. we woke up later on and had to run around cleaning and doing laundry. at around 5 nick came over, so i got in the shower. we hung out with him for a while and whatnot. when nick left jen ended up coming over..

we finished cleaning around 9. so jen and jess went to go pick up jerry and sara, tiffany, and jennie showed up. before we knew it ryan, jerralynn, matt, kyle, lhammone, andy, and danielle were all there. it was so much fun. soleil and a couple of her friends stopped by. then lhammone's friend micah came over. we played kings and took pictures and we were all having tons of fun. craig was making things out of tinfoil. after he left jennie got up on a chair and started dancing.. the chair ended up breaking and she ended up on the floor. it wasn't a big deal. we put it in the living room and forgot about it. until jess went into the living room and the chair was gone and the window was open. we looked outside and it was on the fucking roof.
i guess a couple guys were egging andy on, so he threw it out the fucking window. it was like 2am and jess had to go out there and get it. a couple of us ended up smoking. jen had drank a whole bottle of wine and some... she kept putting on her jacket and telling us she was leaving, with her eyes half closed.. hilarious. danielle was flashing a light on her when she was sitting in the dark and she was freaking out.

we tried to hook up the nintendo, but that didn't go over too well. jerry, tiffany, sara, maranda, and andy ended up shutting themselves up in jess' room. supposedly not much happened, but who knows.. jennie b ended up passing out on the bed and jerralynn and ryan were on the loveseat. jen was already passed out in the living room. the only people really up were me, jess, lhammone, and micah. but i was getting wicked tired, so i went into the living room and layed down on the couch with matt. he's weird. he had his arm around me the whole night and he took my hand and held it too.. i like that he never tries anything too.

it was pretty crazy. we might do it again on thursday. i can't wait.

current mood: calm

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Friday, December 24th, 2004
12:58 am - Yeah, yeah!

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Thursday, December 23rd, 2004
12:49 am - Rudy
Yeah.. This week was alright. After school on tuesday I went to my aunt's because my mom couldn't see me on my birthday. Brooke, Jess, Sara, Ma, and Danielle were all there. We all just kind of hung out for a while and played with Brooke. I gave her a couple early christmas gifts for the hell of it. Then I opened a couple gifts and whatnot. I got two sweatshirts, makeup, nailpolish, and pedicure supplies. Wicked cool. After that we had cake. Brooke was being cute as hell. She kept singing to herself and she told me she was my "evil dog." I love her to death. After a little while Sara, Jess, and I left to get ready and pick up Jen from the airport. We hung out for a bit and then went to Wendy's. After we picked Jen up we drove her home and hung out at Joanie's.

Wed. was my birthday. It was alright, I guess. I woke up and Jess was the first to call me and wish me a happy birthday. My dad forgot. Sara forgot until Chris said something. I thought nobody would remember. In first block we did some boring lab on fingerprints. Second was fun. We played badminton as usual. Steve stole my shoe and gave it to Chris, threw it back and forth with Jake. Then Jake ended up putting it in the trash can. It was gross. Third block I hung out with Ash and then went to the play. Depressed the hell out of me seeing Ted up there. I've been thinking about him a lot lately.. I left early to go to D lunch. Fourth.. Talked with craig and the rest of the gang. Then I fell asleep.
After school I went home with Sara and my dad gave me a gift and then I left and went to Sara's. Chuckie picked us up later on and we smoked. Then we hung out at Jess' until Ielle came over and we went out to the Olive Garden. That was fun. Sara and I ended up sleeping out.

Today Sara and I stayed home from school. We were supposed to clean, but we slept most of the day and watched Shaolin Soccer. Then Ielle and I hung out with Theresa all night. She has a new puppy named Rudy, who is flippin adorable. I had been DYING to go to Starbucks, so Ielle took me and then we went back to Theresa's and relaxed. It was awesome.
I can't wait until tomorrow night so we can all hang out at Danielle's joint. And then Saturday night we're having people over which should be a lot of fun.

current mood: relaxed

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Saturday, December 18th, 2004
2:07 am - hm
It's wicked late, but I'm not really tired, so.. Jess and Sa are already in bed though, so I'm verrry bored.
School was alright today. Nobody was really in first block, so we watched some movie on heroin. It was rather gross. Jake kept stealing my candy and messing around with me. Jess ended up showing up late.. told her to call me this weekend. Second was fun. Bandminton again, I did a lot better. I wanted to fall asleep in the library. At the end of the block I got into the book return and was hiding in there. Last block was pretty boring. NOBODY was there. So me, Justin, and Sokheng each took turns adding funny drawings to a piece of paper.

...After school I took a nap at Jess' with Sara.. and I cancelled the date I had with the plumber. I felt so shitty afterwards because he sounded wicked sad. Just the sound of his voice made me feel like complete shit. He was like, "I was kind of looking forward to tonight.." I ended up going to the mall with Jess, Sa, and Maranda. We Christmas shopped and whatnot. There were so many people there.. We ran into Ielle and Brooke, which was lovely. I also so Bryan and Brad and talked with them for a second. I bought something for Maranda, Jess, and Brooke, but I have to go back tomorrow morning with my dad. fun fun.
At the end of the night I proved my idiocy once again... I had Jess' keys and I unlocked the trunk and took out the skateboards and was fooling around. Then I threw all the shit back in the trunk, without thinking.. I got in the car and realized that I threw the keys in the trunk as well. Luckily she had a spare and when we got back home I went through the back to get them out.

god, i'm stupid. oh well..

current mood: nauseated

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